My Thoughts During a Late Night Study-Session

My Thoughts During a Late Night Study-Session

by Bara Elhag

1:00 am

Friday

 

Screech, silent night, or

Do something other than

let me think this hard

through hard-

ships

sail away from the oceans of Nubia in my mind

and back to my homework—

 

I am resonating between organic molecules

and inorganic thoughts

that I am organizing, or going

through the orchestra of oration

in hopes that speaking my smiles makes them less glass-like and less

ready to shatter in the wind of an oncoming anxiety

 

Think, mind, focus on the double bond, triple bond,

bonds to carbon will never be polarized,

bonds in my mind will,

carbon hates negative charges, says the man on my MacBook at 1 am Friday morning,

it can’t deal with them like oxygen can

 

I can’t deal with them without losing a little oxygen.

 

Intermission:

*mechanisms pathways mechanisms pathways mechanisms pathways*

 

Back to our scheduled entertainment

I muse on fusions between the sound of athaan and the taste of knafe and what number that would have

watch a video on the beauty of Allah’s creation and how a few wolves changed an entire ecosystem*

*rabbit hole: watched 4 different baby animal videos, because “I’m taking a geography class”

the comedy of life is when I can write four pages of analysis worthy of Proust, Rousseau, or Austen,

and then forget to bring my essay to class and have to drive all the way home to bring it—

 

1:25

guilt walks back into my brain and I study

 

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