I have OCD. Or at least OCD is one of my personality disorders. Everyone has personality disorders, and you can take online quizzes to find the percentage you have of each disorder. For me, OCD ranks pretty highly. Don’t let these first couple of lines fool you into thinking this post is about OCD. It has nothing to do with it. Anyway, having OCD makes you want to do things perfectly or not at all. Which brings me to the point of my post.
One of my many struggles is makeup. Obviously, I don’t like to go out not looking my best (this is where the OCD part is important). When I’m feeling especially good, I try to make sure I look especially good. This is where trouble happens. I slowly start to obsess over everything, specifically my face. I start picking at it more, and try to adopt healthy habits to make it clear and smooth. And then the more I look at my face the more flaws and issues I find with it. So I put foundation on one day to make it look even, and it worked. But I couldn’t leave the mirror, because I could still do things to look prettier. What about eyeliner? My face is looking too pale, let me just add a little bit of eyeliner to balance things out. So I add eyeliner, but I still can’t leave to catch my train, because my attention is brought to my lips. They look a bit pale on my face. My skin looks smooth and clear, my eyes pop out nicely, and then my lips look chapped and don’t pop out nicely. So I add a bit off lip gloss. But now, my eyes and lips are the center of attention, and I almost look gothic, and it shows that I have foundation on. I don’t look natural. So now I need to add blush to add a little of color to the sides of my face.
This happens so naturally to me, that I don’t realize it and happen to make up my entire face. So when I get ready to leave I just look away from the mirror as soon as I have my last pin in my scarf.
From what I’ve learned and the way I was taught about makeup in Islam is that nothing that enhances your beauty and attracts the eye should be done. This is what I’ve learned in Jordan, but over here it’s so hard because we’re raised in a perfectionist society. Look at any ad, even American Apparel which tries to be imperfect and jarring. Look at their faces, even with the weird way most put makeup on, and with the shocking features that have, they still have perfect and smooth skin. Blotchy skin is nonexistent in this society. As I write this, a part of my mind says of course, blotchy skin is unattractive. Yet, blotchy skin is normal!! If you look at before and after makeup pictures, most of the befores have blotchy, uneven, oily, and pimply skin. And I wont say that the girls after makeup don’t look beautiful. They all look gorgeous with makeup. But I wonder if they look too gorgeous. Too perfect.
I sat for a minute trying to see the difference between the two, why are the girls without makeup not as pretty? Are they even attractive? In my opinion, no, they’re not attractive, and some are not even pretty. But they look human. They look like they have feelings, emotions, sympathy, kindness, and love. The girls after makeup, however, lack that humane touch. They look super confident, but unapproachable too. We want to be like them, but why should we feel like that?! Why do we encourage this emotion where people are better or worse than us based on how they look? No one consciously thinks like that, but let’s be honest, pretty girls with good personalities always have better social standing than normal girls with good personalities.
I say we should all promise to not wear makeup anymore and just live in sweatpants. Girls of the world, let’s unite, let’s all look normal together!