A Reply from a Brother

An anonymous brother responds to last night’s very popular post, “A Message to Brothers from a Sister.” And, please note, all this competitive energy will be put to good use for the benefit of MSA and Islam Awareness Week (April 7-11). Come to this Thursday night’s IAW-prep meeting (7:30 P.M. at Paul Robeson Cultural Center, Insha’Allah!) to find out details about how you can represent either the Bros/Sis team and help spread the beauty of Islam at the same time! 

  1. What in Jannah does that even mean? Outspoken? It means (according to Google) frank in stating one’s opinions, especially if they are critical or controversial. So a brother thinks you like him because you state your opinion?
  2. Give the brother a chance, who knows?
  3. You repeated the point three times, I think someone besides the brother has a hard time moving on.
  4. To a brother, a like on Facebook is not about who likes it, but how many like it. You are a number on his quest for rule in the kingdom of Facebook.
  5. Chill with the redundancy.
  6. Sometimes manliness comes off as rudeness to those unfamiliar with it.
  7. I love this repetition, it’s like we are running out of points.
  8. Brothers will hold that door only to hear a sister say, “I don’t need no man to hold that door for me.” Fine then, open it yourself while you’re carrying that box.
  9. This is like opening that door, a gentleman goes to a sister and offers to carry the heavy box, and the sister insists she is physically capable of carrying her own box. Fine then, go open that door by yourself too.
  10. Wait so…salaams don’t have that magical power to make people fall in love with you?

I apologize on behalf of the brothers if we were rude at any point, but maybe this will give some insight on how some of us actually think. Hopefully stepping in our shoes will help clear any misunderstandings.

And don’t worry sister, we know you are a creation of Allah.

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17 Comments Add yours

  1. leilaraheem says:

    Maybe the best way to prevent Facebook misunderstandings is to not interact on Facebook. Whoosh.

    Like

    1. Yes.

      Like

      1. muadhkhan says:

        I think the caution in interaction was the point of the comment, not Facebook per se, hmm? Khayr iA.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. ServantOfAllah says:

        @muadhkhan

        I can’t reply to your post so I’m replying here. Facebook IS a form of interaction in virtual form, which is actually more dangerous because people tend to be more ‘free’ interacting virtually. It should be avoided too.

        Like

      3. muadhkhan says:

        @ServantOfAllah

        Yeah, that’s weird, I can’t reply to you either.

        I agree that Facebook is a form of virtual interaction, as as such it needs the same guidelines as interaction in person. Avoiding Khalwa (privacy/isolation, aka private chat), keeping interaction necessary and to the point without flirtation, etc. I agree that the virtual world allows people to be more lax than they would otherwise, but I think its a bit much and unrealistic to say Fb, Twitter, etc. should be avoided altogether. There are many benefits that outweigh the harm should caution be taken, wAllahu ‘alam.

        Like

    2. Anonymous says:

      Exactly :)

      Like

  2. Anonymous says:

    Chill Bro!
    Dear brother who ever you are,
    1. Yes you got the right definition of outspoken. I’m happy you know how to use Google (Great skill for today’s society (No sarcasm intended)! Well what I meant was that just because she has an open personality does not make her prone to liking a brother. If only you knew what I was referring to then it would make sense, but it’s something I simply cannot share. And no being outspoken does not mean a brother will think that a sister likes him. I’m just clearing the air. No Mind reading involved!
    2. The post was not about me just to clear any misunderstandings! So no I don’t need to move on. But it was based on a Real life situation where a sister was hurt by a brother’s rude behavior. So the true intent of my blog was to deal with that issue because yes it was troubling me!
    3. If you read my blog like I intended you would dear Muslim brother of mine, then you would clearly see that I wasn’t trying to show how brothers think (Not a mind reader). Just tried to state the fact that a Facebook like does not mean a real life like so both brothers and sisters should be cautious by keeping our intentions pure. And it’s nice to know that brother’s count likes! Much Profound I must say!
    4. You like repetition? I do too! I do too! I do too! I do too!
    5. And if only you knew what had happened then you would not call that manliness. Cause if that is what you brothers call manliness then May Allah save me from marrying a TRULY manly man!
    6. It seems like we have a case of Difference of opinion. Just like not ALL brothers are the same not ALL sisters are the same. So if you stop holding the door and slam it in a sister’s face because she could have honestly done it herself then I’m sorry I THINK there is a problem there!
    7. NOW THE BOX! Obviously a sister does not want you to do her job for her! But if you see her struggling than maybe you should at least insist to help. If she says no then at least she wouldn’t have the idea that the Brother has no manners. And if you don’t do it because you just don’t want to return with a NO then …..Yeah
    8. Asalamu’Alakum brother by the way! (Oh look I’m not in love with you so no it has no magical power) Just like you used humor to respond to my blog I tried to use humor to get my point across.
    9. It’s a message! If it does not apply to you then it does not apply to you no need to get defensive!
    10. In no way shape or form did I mean to offend any particular brother, or anyone’s personal beliefs. Hence “My perspective”. Hence “My message” for brothers to just be somewhat cautious of a sisters feelings from now on. That’s all!
    To one person it may be dramatic to another it may be reality just a tip of advice. Allah has created us both with different duties and responsibilities but we should respect each other equally and justifiably. If you were offended by my previous blog then I’m sorry because that was not my intent. Also thank you for your insight into a brother’s mind, I’m always open to other perspectives!
    Jazak’Allah khair and May Allah bless you in this Duniya and Akirah! Ameen.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. FastingFasting says:

    Let us settle this with a brawl at IAW!
    Obviously Muslim men hate women and vice-versa!!!!
    You guys wasting your time while Palestine burns!

    Like

    1. Submissions says:

      Your comments are out of line. Please be respectful. This is no place for hate, and there will be no brawl.

      Like

  4. Anonymous says:

    “Hate” such a strong word…No hate

    Like

  5. muadhkhan says:

    This is hilarious. Nice one, Aznonymous bro. Anonymous sister in the comments, you might be taking the “response” a bit seriously. Good article yesterday mA

    Like

    1. Anonymous says:

      Trust me I’m not taking it far I actually laughed at the brothers response …I guess its the fact that we are communicated via internet that is causing such misunderstandings ….anyways wa iyakum

      Like

  6. Anonymous says:

    This argument can go back and forth forever. But, honestly, I think both sides didn’t convey their points…eehh..in the best way.

    Like

    1. Anonymous says:

      Yes I probably should have just stuck with the plain old boring seriousness ..

      Like

  7. Anonymous says:

    The command to spread the greeting of salaam is general and applies to all the believers. It includes men greeting men and women greeting women, and a man greeting his female mahrams. All of them are enjoined to initiate the greeting of salaam, and the other is obliged to return the greeting.

    But there is a special ruling that applies to a man greeting a non-mahram woman, because of the fitnah (temptation) that may result from that in some cases.

    There is nothing wrong with a man greeting a non-mahram woman with salaam, without shaking hands with her, if she is elderly, but he should not greet a young woman with salaams when there is no guarantee that there will be no fitnah (temptation). This is what is indicated by the comments of the scholars, may Allaah have mercy on them.

    Imam Maalik was asked: Can a woman be greeted with salaam? He said: With regard to the elderly woman, I do not regard that as makrooh, but with regard to the young woman, I do not like that.

    Al-Zarqaani explained the reason why Maalik did not like that, in his commentary on al-Muwatta’: Because of the fear of fitnah when he hears her returning the greeting.

    In al-Adaab al-Shar’iyyah (1/370) it says: Ibn Muflih mentioned that Ibn Mansoor said to Imam Ahmad: (What about) greeting women with salaam? He said: If the woman is old there is nothing wrong with it.

    Saalih (the son of Imam Ahmad) said: I asked my father about greeting women with salaam. He said: With regard to old women, there is nothing wrong with it, but with regard to young women, they should not be prompted to speak by being made to return the salaam.

    Al-Nawawi said in his book al-Adhkaar (p. 407):

    Our companions said: Women greeting women is like men greeting to men. But when it comes to women greeting men, if the woman is the man’s wife, or his concubine, or one of his mahrams, then it is like him speaking to another man; it is mustahabb for either of them to initiate the greeting of salaam and the other is obliged to return the greeting. But if the woman is a stranger (non-mahram), if she is beautiful and there is the fear that he may be tempted by her, then the man should not greet her with salaam, and if he does then it is not permissible for her to reply; she should not initiate the greeting of salaam either, and if she does, she does not deserve a response. If he responds then this is makrooh.

    If she is an old woman and he will not be tempted by her, then it is permissible for her to greet the man with salaam and for the man to return her salaams.

    If there is a group of women then a man may greet them with salaam, or if there is a group of men, they may greet a woman with salaam, so long as there there is no fear that any of the parties may be tempted.

    Abu Dawood (5204) narrated that Asma’ the daughter of Yazeed said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) passed by us woman and greeted us with salaam.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

    And al-Bukhaari (6248) narrated that Sahl ibn Sa’d said: “There was an old woman of our acquaintance who would send someone to Budaa’ah (a garden of date-palms in Madeenah). She would take the roots of silq (a kind of vegetable) and put them in a cooking pot with some powdered barley. After we had prayed Jumu’ah, we would go and greet her, then she should offer (that food) to us.”

    Al-Haafiz said in al-Fath:

    Concerning the permissibility of men greeting women with salaam and women greeting men: what is meant by its being permitted is when there is no fear of fitnah.

    Al-Haleemi was quoted as saying: Because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was infallible and protected from fitnah. Whoever is confident that he will be safe from temptation may greet (women) with salaam, otherwise it is safer to keep silent.

    And al-Muhallab is quoted as saying: It is permissible for men to greet women with salaam and for women to greet men, if there is no fear of fitnah.

    And Allaah knows best.

    Like

  8. minshan Allah bikafikom -_- says:

    It’s truly sad that while our ummah is literally bleeding to death, we’d rather spend our time and energy going back and forth on such a futile subject. I think it’s time we focus our energy on productive discussions from now on.

    Like

    1. Submissions says:

      These posts in no way intended to downplay the real atrocities our ummah faces around the world. We’ve had plenty productive posts on Submissions; it’s unfortunate you decided to only read and/or comment on this one and then judge how we all use our energy and time.

      Like

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