My Father, My Identity

“Father, I know we cannot choose our family. This choice is made by the Almighty, and we only find out when we arrive in this world who our parents are. However, what I know and feel in my heart is that were I to choose my father, I would have chosen you, Baaba.”

In Islam, the relationship between a father and his daughter is a significant one. Ever since I can remember, my father not only served as the head of the household, but he has been my guardian, my protector, my confidant, and my best friend. Whenever I was in a time of need, I always knew I could turn to my father for guidance and assurance that Allah will Insha’Allah make everything okay. It is my father who I praise for nurturing me into the person I am today. It is my father who I turn to for emotional support during troubles. It is my father to whom I owe my identity, to whom I am eternally grateful. It is a misunderstanding that females should only have a strong bond with their mothers. In my case, I have a stronger bond with my father. I love both of my parents, and my father goes beyond his ways to ensure there is always a smile on my face. This is the reason behind why my identity is through my father. He passed his values, beliefs and love down to me. If I wanted, I could write an endless book series about my relationship with my father, but don’t worry, I won’t put you through that.

Why do I love my father so much you ask?

The answer to this question is simply behind the reason why I am so interested in learning more about Islam. We might all know there is a great difference between being Muslim by name and being Muslim at heart. Well, it is my father who helped me learn the true value of being Muslim at heart. That is, the first step to this deen is developing iman. I did not one day just wake in the morning and decide, “Oh I think I’m going to be religious from now on.” Actually, it was a gradual process. I took it one step at a time.

Faatimah, of whom A’isha (radhiAllahu anha) commented:

“I have not seen any one of God’s creation resemble the Messenger of God more in speech, conversation and manner of sitting than Faatimah, may God be pleased with her. When the Prophet saw her approaching, he would welcome her, stand up and kiss her, take her by the hand and sit her down in the place where he was sitting.”

When I am near my father, I feel a sense of comfort and ease. Like I can be my complete self around him. I share all my secrets and sorrows with my father. He is truly a noble man who inspired me to always have sabr because life can be miserable, but Allah loves those who remain patient through the pain.

So this is who I am. I am a daughter who loves her father dearly. A father’s du’a can go a long way…


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