Welcome! Marhaba! Khushamdeed!
I would like to welcome all the new freshman and transfer students to Rutgers. It’s wonderful to have you here! Here are some tips to help you adjust to the RUMSA experience. Not heeding these friendly reminders might result in irreparable harm to your reputation and/or failure to find a marriage partner:
– If you are a guy, don’t look at the sisters.
– If you are a girl, don’t look at the brothers.
– Don’t sit anywhere where it might be assumed you are trying to look at the opposite gender, or trying to be seen by them.
– Walk with your head down (preferably with your chin touching your chest) lest someone thinks you were trying to look at the opposite gender.
– Don’t wear sunglasses or transition lenses. People will assume you are trying to secretly look at non-mahrams. – If you are a guy, grow a beard. The unbearded lose credibility. Don’t style it too much. It’s not a bonsai tree.
– If you are a girl, stop wearing makeup. Women with makeup on are assumed to be trying to lure in hapless brothers. Wear a jilbab. Burn all high-heeled or open-toed shoes. You don’t want to be the girl with the immodest toes.
– Don’t linger outside of the meeting room. It is assumed you are trying to look at the opposite gender.
– If you are handsome or beautiful, be extra careful about these rules, others will assume you are not acting conservatively enough to deflect the attention of the opposite gender. While mortification/scarring of the body are haram acts, there has been no scholarly dismissal of the handy-dandy ‘wearing-a-paper-bag-over-your-head’ technique. Please ensure that your eye, nose and mouth holes are not so big that others can see your beauty through them, thereby obviating the point of the paper bag. Please don’t draw a handsome/beautiful face on top of your paper bag or hang jewelry from it.
– If you are a guy, wear a shalwar kamiz with the shalwar no longer than your ankles. Fashionable American clothing makes you seem like a gigolo. If you wear a thowb, make sure there is something under it, no matter how pleasing a cool summers breeze might be to your sensibilities.
– When you go to the masjid, don’t loiter outside. It is assumed that you are trying to check out the opposite gender and/or trying to get yourself checked out.
– If you are female, don’t speak in the meeting room. It will be assumed that you are trying to call attention to yourself. If you need to say something to one of the brothers, find a female relative of theirs’ to relay your message.
– If you are male, don’t speak in the meeting room. It will be assumed that you are trying to call attention to yourself. If you need to say something to one of the sisters, find a male relative of theirs’ to relay your message. Extra modesty points for using their wali.
– If you are the Amir, don’t look in the sisters direction. It will be assumed that you are taking advantage of your position.
– If you are the Amir, don’t be funny. It will be assumed that you are trying to attract the sisters with your personality. That goes for all other brothers as well.
– Do not volunteer to be in a mixed committee. It will be assumed that you are trying to ‘get to know’ the non-mahram members of the committee.
– If someone is speaking during the meeting, don’t look at them. It will be assumed that you like them. It doesn’t matter if the person is the speaker/Amir/committee head. Remember, you can’t lose with eyes on shoes.
– When you pray, don’t try to pray any extra nafl prayers in front of others. It will be assumed that you are showing off to win respect and admiration.
– If you go to a restaurant and see an RUMSA member of the opposite gender sitting there, either sit out of viewing distance of the person or get your food to go. Failure to do this will cause the person (and/or all those other eyes that have been watching you) to assume you like the person.
– If you are a guy and get caught looking at a girl, don’t look at her ever again. If you look at her ONE other time (on any date, era, or dimension) she will assume that you like her.
– If you are a girl and get caught looking at a guy, it’s too late, you have now confirmed his suspicion that he is a sexy beast. Thanks a lot. – If you have RUMSA member(s) in your class, don’t talk to any Nonmuslims of the opposite gender. No one likes a hypocrite. Apply all the listed rules to the classroom as well.
– If you are a female, don’t ever stop off at the bathroom before going to a meeting or event. It is assumed that you are touching up your makeup or primping.
– If you are a male and you see that a sister is carrying a stack of heavy boxes/books/crates etc. and is about to fall over, don’t offer to help or open any doors for her. It will be assumed that you like her. She shouldn’t have been overestimating her strength and balance.
Adhering to these tips will ensure a pleasant and honorable RUMSA experience and will enable you to graduate with your reputation intact and a decent shot at getting married to someone within the MSA National network (word travels). Moreover, you will be saved from the blazing flesh-roasting fires of Jahannum as well!
Have a wonderful year, help yourself to some refreshments and a Welcoming Kit, and hope to see you at the next meeting! :D
Brothers and sisters, what you see above is not a representation of present-day RUMSA (Alhamdulillah wa shukrillah). What you see above is an example of what happens in an Islamic organization when benefit of the doubt is withheld and assumptions are made regarding the intentions of others. The result: fear and a feeling of discomfort and paranoia whenever one is in the company of members of the organization. Because it has left the sunnah of the Rasool (May Allah bless him and give him peace), the organization inevitably self-destructs and its absence eventually becomes the reason for many a muslim’s decline.
* “And follow not that of which you have no knowledge (i.e. do not say anything, or do any thing, or bear witness to anything that you have no knowledge of). Verily the hearing, and the sight, and the heart will all be questioned (by Allah).” (Surah Al-Israa: 36)
* Narrated by AbuHurayrah: Allah’s Messenger (May Allah bless him and give him peace) said “A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He neither oppresses him nor humiliates him nor looks down upon him. The piety is here, (and while saying so) he pointed towards his chest thrice. It is a serious evil for a Muslim that he should look down upon his brother Muslim. All things of a Muslim are inviolable for his brother in faith; his blood, his wealth and his honour”. (Reported by Muslim)
* Narrated by Abu Hurairah: “Verily, a servant may say a word without thinking whether it is right or wrong (not understanding its repercussions), and he may fall down into Hell-fire because of it further than the distance between the East and the West.” (Reported by Bukhari and Muslim)
* “Verily, the Believers are brothers. Then set matters right between your brothers and be conscious of Allah in order that you may obtain mercy. O you who believe, let not some people mock at other people, for they may be better than themselves, nor (let) women (mock) at women who may be better than themselves. And do not slander yourselves, nor revile by (offensive) nicknames; evil is a name connoting wickedness after believing; and whoever does not turn away (from doing this), those are wrongdoers.” (Qur’an. 49:10)
* “Avoid suspicion, for airing suspicion is the most lying form of speech.” (Reported by al-Bukhari and others.)
* “If you have a suspicion, do not pursue it.” (Reported by al-Tabarani.)
* Abu Haitham, the scribe of ‘Uqbah bin ‘Amir, a Companion of the Prophet (peace be on him) narrated, “I said to ‘Uqbah bin ‘Amir, ‘Some of our neighbors drink wine, and I am going to call the police and have them arrested.’ He said, ‘Do not do so, but advise them and warn them.’ I said, ‘I told them to stop it but they do not listen to me. I am therefore going to inform the police and have them arrested.’ ‘Uqbah then said, ‘Woe to you! Do not do that, for I heard the Messenger of Allah (May Allah bless him and give him peace) say, “If one conceals the private affairs (of others), it is like reviving a girl who has been buried alive from her grave.” (Reported by Abu Daoud’ al-Nisai, Ibn Hibban in his Sahih, and al-Hakim. The wording is from Ibn Hibban.)
* “O you who believe, avoid (indulging in) much suspicion; truly some suspicion is a sin. And do not spy or backbite one another; would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would abhor that. And be conscious of Allah; indeed, Allah is Relenting, Merciful” (49:12)
* Ibn ‘Umar narrated, “Allah’s Messenger (May Allah bless him and give him peace) mounted the pulpit and called out in a loud voice, O you who declare Islam with your tongues but whose hearts have not been reached by faith, do not annoy the Muslims nor seek out their faults, for he who seeks out the faults of his brother Muslim will have his faults sought out by Allah, and when Allah seeks out someone’s faults, He exposes them, even though he should be in the interior of his house.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, and Ibn Majah has reported something similar.)
* Mu’awiyah reported the Prophet (May Allah bless him and give him peace) as saying, “If you seek out peoples’ faults, you will corrupt them, or bring them very near to corruption” (Reported by Abu Daoud and by Ibn Hibban in his Sahih.)
* Allah does not like the announcing of evil in public speech except by one who has been wronged; and Allah is Hearing, Knowing. (Qur’an. 4:148)
* The Prophet (May Allah bless him and give him peace) said, If anyone defends his brother who is slandered in his absence, it will be (his) due from Allah to set him free from the Fire. (Reported by Ahmad on good authority.)
* “If anyone defends his brother’s honor in this world, Allah will shield his face from the Fire on the Day of Resurrection.” (Reported by al Tirmidhi on sound authority.)
* During the Farewell Pilgrimage the Prophet (May Allah bless him and give him peace) addressed the assembly of Muslims, saying “Your lives, your honor, and your property are as sacred to each other as the sacredness of this your day, in this your month, and in this your city.” (Reported by Muslim.)
* ‘Aishah reported that the Prophet (May Allah bless him and give him peace) said to his Companions, ‘Do you know what the worst form of usury is in the sight of Allah?’ They said, ‘Allah and His Messenger know best’ The Prophet (May Allah bless him and give him peace) replied, ‘The worst form of usury is the violation of the personal honor of a Muslim.’ He then recited, ‘Those who harm believing men and believing women undeservedly have laid upon themselves a calumny and a manifest sin.’ (33:58) (Reported by Ibn Abu Hatim, Ibn Murdawai and al-Bayhaqi.)
* Narrated by AbuHurayrah: Allah’s Messenger (May Allah bless him and give him peace) said “Beware of suspicion. Suspicion is the most untrue speech. Do not spy and do not eavesdrop. Do not compete with each other and do not envy each other and do not hate each other and do not shun each other. Be slaves of Allah, brothers.” (47.15 of Muwatta of Imam Malik)
* Imam Nawawi (Allah Most High have mercy on him) mentions, in the introduction of Sharh al-Muhadhdhab, that “it is obligatory for a student to give a positive interpretation to every utterance of his brothers that seems to be wrong until he has exhausted seventy excuses. No one is capable of this except a failure.”
* Abu Bakr once said, “Do not belittle any Muslim for the most insignificant Muslim is great in the eyes of Allah.”